Word is out that Barney Frank, Democrat Chair of the House Financial Services Committee, won the Porker of the Year Award from Citizens Against Government Waste for being the congressman who spent the most money on pork in 2009. That’s hardly surprising to anyone who has actually seen Barney.
My friend, Max, is a decent basset hound in Virginia, just outside the D. C. greenbelt. He saw ole Barney one day in Arlington meeting with some abortion rights folks. It ticked Max off that Barney thinks it’s okay for you humans to kill your pups.
So, ole Max sprints up as fast as a Basset can go without tripping over his ears, darts between the legs of a Secret Service agent, leaps up as high as a Basset can—which ain’t real high—and bites down real hard, taking a chunk out of Barney’s…eeerrrr…rear end.
While Barney yelped repeatedly like a cross-dresser who’s had his bra clasp break, Max began to wretch and regurgitate. Other dogs kept asking what was wrong, but Max kept spitting , “Yeccchhh. Spphhttt. Pappphhtt.” Finally, he was able to groan out, “Uugghhh. That is just way, Way, WAY, WAAYY toooo sweet!”
To this day, Max has sworn off sugar cured pork forever and turns a little green around those droopy eyes any time Barney Frank’s name is mentioned.
Jack